So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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