she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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