Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
