I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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