Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
