Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wear drunk well.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
