Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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