He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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