Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
