I understand Curling. That high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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