I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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