Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
