he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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