You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
