Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
