Are we in a gay sports bar?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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