He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
