He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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