Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
