Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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