U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize