O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
