On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
