Sry I called you an 8
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
