Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
how drunk are you?
Several
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
