i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
