RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
