he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
