I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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