I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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