I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
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