When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize