if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.