he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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