Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
