Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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