hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
