He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
