I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
