So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
