She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
