So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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