yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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