Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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