I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
