Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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