oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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