Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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