i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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