yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
