problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
