Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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