Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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