when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
