I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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