I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
