Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
