yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
