Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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