Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize