I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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