i wish starbucks made bloody marys
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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