Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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