my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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