I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
